Apr 19, 2008

Should I Get Back Together With My Ex

Get Back Together With My ExWe've all been there. The pain and emotional turmoil of a bitter break up or the disillusionment of a marriage or relationship that is in its dying days. All that time and energy and love seemingly gone, wasted. The end of a relationship. But does it have to be?...

Just imagine if you could turn back time? Go back to the days where you were each others soul mate? Recapture those moments of fun and laughter and magic which lead you to fall in love in the first place. Even if you feel your situation is hopeless or too caught up in the bad feelings of the past, there are ways to get back your ex. The question is….

Should I get Back With My Ex?...

The decision is yours. But here are a few simple questions to ask yourself that might guide your thinking: Were you ever happy in your relationship? Would you say that you left the relationship or did your partner? What do you believe were thereasons that played a role in your relationship not working out? Did you play a role in it not working out? If so what was your contribution? Do you notice any patterns in your relationship situations and interactions? If so, were these patterns helping your relationship or hindering it? Did you suffer any kind of abuse? If so, do you truly believe this will end if you get back together?

OK, so you've done a bit of thinking and decided to give getting back together a chance. Well, you are going to have to know exactly what to say and what to do. Here are three things to keep in mind immediately after you break up…

1. Whatever you do, DON'T call up or text 100 times a day pleading and begging to get back. It doesn't work, in fact it pushes your ex further away. It just makes them feel guilty and resentful. Likewise, don't ring up your partner's family and friends. You will only alienate yourself further.

2. As hard as it seems you have to separate yourself from contact.

Why?

Because your ex has to miss you first. They are going to realise that there is no one to share stuff with. It's only natural that the desire to share becomes stronger and when they ring you up what do you want them to find? Someone whose emotional states range from despair, bitterness and desperation or someone who has managed to pull their life together and actually reflect on why the relationship ended in the first place.

Warning: This 'no contact' phase will be the most difficult period of your life. But, there are techniques to get instant relief from the emotional pain of and depression... you CAN feel better in minutes.

3. When your ex finally does ring you it will more than likely be for some fabricated reason, DON'T take it as an opportunity to emotionally dump on them. Just stay calm and be polite and answer their queries and then get off the phone. Of course, if you understand the main reasons why your partner left you or you left them, then you are half way to getting back their love forever.

Remember, never give up hope where love and reconciliation is concerned. Couples reunite everyday regardless of their situation. You don't have to waste all the love and romance that you have invested. Good luck.

By: Dub Jackson